SILENCE: Lenten Devotion Day 28

Lenten Devotion Day 28

SILENCE

For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from him. 

Psalm 62:5

Life is loud. The busier we get the louder life becomes. We endure a whirlwind of noise, expectation, and chaos and then wonder why God has been silent. A couple of years ago I found myself weary of the noise of life. God's voice seemed a distant whisper and I felt great emptiness at the silence of his voice. I set out on a quest to hear God once more and ultimately came to the conclusion that God was not silent...I was simply in the midst of so much noise that I couldn't hear God. I tried many things to silence the world around me which ultimately let me to another conclusion...I also had to silence myself.

With the help of meditation, poetry, a spiritual director and a Tibetan Singing Bowl I relearned silence and reconnected with the voice of God. "For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is in him." 

Are you struggling to hear from God? Is your Lenten self-examination leaving you empty? Try taking the time to quiet your soul...REALLY quiet your soul. Each day carve out 30 minutes to just sit in silence and listen. Pray first and then devote 30 minutes to not think about anything but to simply listen in the silence for God's voice. After 30 minutes, try to journal or write down your thoughts and what you heard. You might be surprised at how clear 

God's voice comes 

in the

SILENCE

A Snuggle with Jesus

Madonna and Child by

Giovanni Battista Salvi da Sassoferrato

Advent is over and we sit solidly in the midst of Christmas. The above painting by Sassoferrato seems to sum it all up doesn't it? The peace on the faces of mother and child...the joy of this moment snuggled together...the hope of what will be...the love between mother and son. It is one of my favorite images of Mary and her precious son.

As all new mothers know, those serene mother-child images last about as long as it take to capture it in a photograph. All too soon it will be diaper changing, feeding time, unexplained crying fits and more. Peace is shattered by necessity...but it doesn't diminish the love, the joy and the hope between mother and child.

Yesterday, during our Children's Sermon, the gentleman teaching the kids said, "What holiday did we just celebrate?" The kids responded, "Christmas." Then he asked the next question that made me almost swoon with anxiety...."So what is the next holiday we will celebrate?"  What?? Seriously?? I haven't recovered from Christmas yet and already you want to talk about what is next? What happened to Christmas peace? 

Shattered by necessity I suppose....the necessity to move along with the calendar. As I calmed my weary body, I was reminded of the image of Madonna and Child - the call of necessity doesn't diminish the love, joy, hope...and yes, even the peace of life. 

2013 is knocking at our door. Lent is fast approaching, Easter is on the way, bible studies must be started, leadership development is vital to new committees and leaders; the 'to-do" list is endless. Your list may be different but it is no less demanding. So today, I take time to sit - as Madonna with child - and just settle in with Jesus for a moment of comfortable snuggling. Necessity is all around me but for this moment - I choose peace and that settles my anxiousness for the obligations that are coming as quickly as this new year. 

In those moments where I feel overwhelmed with necessity, I must remind myself that necessity doesn't diminish the peace, hope, love and joy of my life in Christ. Rather, as a servant to Christ, it is within the necessity that I find peace, hope, love and joy - for it is in the "doing" of my faith that I experience the peace, hope, love and joy of my faith. 

As we journey into a new year with new obligations and new expectations, let us remember to carry our peace, hope, love and joy of Christmas with us. Don't pack them away with the Christmas decorations but carry them with you into the work of 2013. Embrace the new year in such a way that the "necessities" are not burdens but instead are expressions of a iife lived peacefully, lovingly, joyfully and hopefully in Christ Jesus.

...And don't forget to take time each day for a comforting snuggle with Jesus! Take a moment from the call of necessity and sit with him, converse with him, be at peace with him...it just might make that "to-do" list a lot more appealing. 

So long 2012 and Hello 2013....may you blossom forth in God's blessing upon all the world.

Have a "Mary" Christmas

Yes, it is Christmas Eve and perhaps a little late for this particular reflection but as they say - "better late than never." I've spent the last few weeks, no doubt, as you have - shopping, visiting, and generally going about spreading good cheer with a smile and "Merry Christmas" planted firmly on my lips. Tonight I found myself rushing out to a department store on Christmas Eve - one of my "I will never do that" moments...but alas, in the busy-ness of the last few days, I had forgotten a gift that needed to be under my tree in the morning. As my husband and I rushed into the store he was noticing my posture - back bent, hands clenched, feet rushing, frown lines glowing red - and he asked if I was ok. Not really was my reply - I was worried about tonight's Christmas Eve service, was I prepared? I was worried about Christmas morning for my girls - had I forgotten anything else? Would they be disappointed? I was worried about tomorrows service - would anyone come? Would the media computer behave or act up again and if it did, what would I do? I was concerned with our busy time-table of trying to be 3 different places tomorrow. My dear sweet husband looked at me for a moment and said, "Wow, no wonder you are sore - that's an awful lot of weight you're carrying around." Hmmm, I hate it when he does that.

In one simple sentence, he can stop me in my tracks and make me see how silly I am. So, I did what any wife would do in that instance...I ignored him and kept on walking.  I decided to skip going with him and my girls to the Christmas Eve service at his church so that I could come early to my church and make sure everything was prepared and thus found myself alone in my office on Christmas Eve, beginning to feel a little sorry for myself that I "had to work" on such a night when other families were together.  But then I looked across my desk to my little prayer altar and felt the beckoning on my three candles and prayer book. So I closed my computer, put aside my script, lit my candles and curled up on my big pillow.

For 30 minutes, I went to my "spot" - I pray visually, so my "spot" is to imagine myself as Mary - not the "mother of Jesus" Mary but the "Martha and Mary" Mary.  See, I'm a self avowed Martha - work, work, worry, worry - so I force myself in prayer time to take the "better way" and sit at Jesus feet - that is where my "spot" is. Only tonight, our room was a stable, and Jesus was his infant self - and I was kneeled beside him...waiting to find out why I was there.  The word came loud and clear - Simplicity!

In the craziness of the Christmas season do we not have the tendency to complicate things with too many perfect expectations, a constant swarm of programs and parties, a calendar that looks more like a blueprint diagram - well you know what I mean - but is that really what God gave to us at Christmas? He could have done more - it could have been more complicated and showy - there could have been a great production - a mass incident of...well...biblical proportion? Yet, unto us a child was born - simple as that. In a stable, to a young couple. Amidst hay bales and the flicker of a flame the Messiah came into the world.  In my "Mary" mode I sat and imagined it all and I prayed...

My God, Why do I feel the need to be so strong when you were willing to become so weak? Teach me to claim the manger as my own - a simple place of humble weakness, which holds the power of a King.

And in that prayer, I gave my Christmas over to God - I handed God the power to make tonight's service what he will - I handed him the power to be all my children need and desire in life - I handed him tomorrow's worship service - to move freely in the hearts of those who seek him...and I gave Martha the weekend off. I'm going to have a "Mary" Christmas - and kneel at that manger and be awed.

"Mary" Christmas my friends,
May the light of Christ guide you, the love of God keep you, and the fire of the Holy Spirit warm you
Amen

The Most Terrifying Prayer

It is a simple, two-word prayer. It should be easy enough to utter. It should roll off the tongue willingly. It should be the first thing we say each morning. It should bring us peace.

Instead, it sticks in my throat. It hesitates on my tongue. It comes to me each morning but I want to put a condition with it - follow it with a "But..."  It does not bring me peace, rather, it inflicts terror in the very heart of me.  A simple, two-word prayer...

"Use me."

It is a prayer I desperately want to say and mean it with all my heart and soul (I think). I want to be a servant of God, a worker in God's vineyard, a gatekeeper in God's temple...and every other metaphor and analogy the bible offers me...but...

"Use me" hitches in my throat. I can almost say it convincingly and with power...almost. Yet each time I manage to get them out of my mouth I dread what God will say next.  I fear what God will ask me to do. I worry what God will ask of me that might bring suffering, horror, heartbreak, pain, controversy...

But then I feel the fear and terror melting away in the embrace of the Holy Spirit, my great comforter and promise of God.  "Those are things of this world...I am here to lift you above that."  This world will inflict those things upon us but when we pray for God to "use us," that is when those worldly hurts and sufferings are overcome.

We tend to fear what God will ask us to do but does the real fear not lie in trying to do this life without God? Yes, when I pray "use me," I am inviting God to place someone unlovable in my life to love...to move me out of my comfort zone and into a combat zone...to risk my own life in a fight for justice for someone else...to damage my popularity for the sake of Christ's.  When I pray "use me," I am giving up control and letting God take over.  Yes, that terrifies me...and yet...

I cling to Acts 1:4, "wait there for the promise of the father."  What is that promise? The Holy Spirit. God's Spirit which dwells within those who believe.  I cling to those stories which remind us of the power available to us when the Holy Spirit is given control of our lives.

Yes, "use me" can be terrifying words to utter...and yet how can we not say them? The world needs God, not me...the world needs a Messiah, not a follower who won't give up control.  The promise of God is that the Holy Spirit will come upon us and give us all we need in answer to that "use me" prayer. All the boldness we need for conflict and controversy, all the strength we need for pain and suffering, all the wisdom we need for justice and forgiveness.  It is all ours, if we pray one simple, two-word prayer...

"Use me."

Prayer To Be Swept Away

A few years ago my family took a road trip to Canada. Of course no road trip to Canada is complete without a stopover in Niagara Falls. Now, I'm a mountain girl and  I believe I have visited every waterfall in North Carolina, some are impressive...some not so much...but I have enjoyed all of them. None of them have been traumatic for me...until I met Niagara.

My palms are already starting to sweat as I type this. I will never forget my first glimpse of the water - I had been looking at a map or book or something and not paying attention, so when Tim pulled the car into a parking lot and I looked up there, just a few short feet in front of me, was a RAGING river. I had, at that moment, the first panic attack of my life. I felt like I couldn't breath, my palms were sweating, my heart was pounding and all I remember saying is, "How can there be no fence or handrails? What is wrong with these people?" All this before I could even see the falls, we were still upstream!!

I wouldn't allow anyone out of the car and made Tim get back onto the road to take us into Canada immediately - I had to get downstream so I could breath again.  Sure enough I felt better there, until we walked right to the edge of the water. Again, the shear power of the water literally took my breath. There is no withstanding water like this - you fall in and you are totally at its mercy - totally out of control.

Today my Psalm meditation was Psalm 93: "The floods have lifted up, O Lord...more majestic than the thunders of mighty waters, more majestic than the waves of the sea, majestic on high is the name of the Lord."  I was immediately drawn back to the edge of Niagara Falls, realizing that as all powerful and mighty as that water seemed - I worship a God which more powerful and mighty than that.

O to be swept up in the raging power of God's will - to be washed away and totally at his mercy and control. What seems terrifying in the destructive flood of water seems glorious in the life giving springs of God.  Can you imagine being caught up in the holy current of God's purpose, love, goodness and glory? To leave behind the burden of trying to be all and do all ourselves but instead, to let God sweep us into his will and direct our destination and life?

Take me with you Father! The floods have lifted up - lift me too. The floods have lift their voice - hear mine also. The floods lift up their roar - let my roar be a witness to the power and might of God. Wash me away in your love and power, sweep me along the current of your will.  Amen.