Song Birds and Lessons in Love

In the piedmont of North Carolina we had the pleasure of enjoying an actual spring this year. In the past few years it seems we went straight from winter to summer, 32 degrees one day and 98 degrees the next! But this year we enjoyed lazy afternoons in the backyard watching the many song birds dance the "twitterpated" dance of love we learned about in Bambi.  My favorite couple was a cardinal pair whose presence I enjoyed, for they sang to me as they courted one another...seemingly to include me as a  witness their love and attraction to one another.

We are now in to the heat of summer and I spend less time in the yard but I have noticed that only the male cardinal now keeps me company, his lover seems to have moved on, but Gabriel remains. I have named him this because I imagine that if I could speak the language of "Cardinal" I would understand he is bringing me tidings of great joy - proclamations of good news. And that reminds me of the angel Gabriel, who also came to bring good news and yet the news always started with "Do not be afraid."  Why would we ever be afraid of good news?  My husband says because every time Gabriel says this someone ends up pregnant, lol - true.  But perhaps there is a deeper truth too.

Gabriel's pronouncements are also about love, or more specifically, about the risky business of love.  When Gabriel calls us to sit and listen he is about to speak to the promise of God's love for us and the struggle for us to love God and one another unconditionally.

 "For God so loved the world that he send his Son..."  God certainly knew the risk involved in what he was about to do. There is always risk in giving our love away to another...will they return it? Will they cherish it? Will they abuse it? Will they deny it? Will they accept it unconditionally? Will they put stipulations on it? Will they misuse it? Mistreat it? Let it grow stale and unappealing?

In ministry I deal almost daily in the problems of love, or rather, the problems that occur when love is not realized as the wonderful gift it really is. I hear of parents who can't love unconditionally, of lovers who can't love faithfully, of children who can't love generously, of neighbors who can't love across the barriers of diversity. Why? Because they are afraid - what if I am disappointed? What if I am hurt? What if I am taken advantage of? What if I miss out on something better? What if...it all boils down to the fact that we no longer want to risk love...What if we would rather not love and keep our hearts "safe" by throwing up walls of protection and defense?

What if God had done the same?

Yes, love is risky - we may be hurt by someone else's brokenness and failure, we may have to open our minds to another way of thinking - but God calls us to do it anyway...because he did the same for us. We have no doubt failed him, cheated on him, misunderstood and mistreated him in many ways and yet he keeps reaching out, he keeps calling us back.

My lovely cardinal, Gabriel, is without his previous companion, yet there he sits right now, singing to me his song of invitation, "Do not be afraid, I bring you great news...of love."  God's love...perfect and never ending.

Thanks be to God.

That's Just Who I Am

Oh how I have grown to hate those words..."That's Just Who I Am"  It would be one thing if they were words uttered by kind and generous souls who gave of themselves and spoke works of encouragement and strength to those around them...but they are never the kind of people who respond with "That's just who I am."

I hear that phrase from folks who have mastered the weapon of the tongue. Folks who in one flash of this strongest of muscles can bring even the best of us to our knees - praying for mercy and escape. No matter how hurtful and abusive they are, if called on it and told of their infliction of pain will simply say "That's just who I am...I speak my mind, I say what I feel, if you can't deal with it you can leave."  And the thing that gets me is they say this with pride and self-assurance...as if their ability to draw blood with words is an art form to be coveted.

I have marveled at this since coming back to the church as an adult and seeing first hand the damage inflicted within churches by members who feel entitled to be rude and harsh by speaking just what is on their mind at all times. "That's just who I am so you have to take it and accept me because your a Christian." That is what amazes me about this whole attitude - those of us on the abused end of their tongue must respond with Christian understanding and love...while those on the abusive end of the tongue are allowed to say things that are hurtful, divisive, damaging and contrary to Christian behavior but feel they shouldn't be held accountable because - you guess it - that's just who they are.

We all, on occasion, fail to heed James' warning to put a bridle bit on our tongue and let our words be guided and directed by a power greater than ourselves (James 3). All Christians should feel a sense of shame in those moments, seeking forgiveness from God and from the person we have hurt. I also believe all Christians are to hold one another accountable to a more mature way to speaking with one another. We need to take care to remind one another often that the words we speak are a reflection of Christ in us. If Christ is in us our words should be filled with grace and mercy, love and peace.

If we proclaim to be a follower of Christ and yet our words are hurtful, judgmental, mean, and wound inflicting...then perhaps our defense is true - "That's just who I am" indeed proves who you are not - for you are not a person in which Christ is fully dwelling.

The words we speak to others do indeed reflect who we are...and whose we are. We will all do well to remember that.