GO: Lenten Devotion Day 30

Lenten Devotion Day 30

GO

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, 

baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 

and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. 

And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

Matthew 28:19-20

Go! It is a simple word. We are doing it constantly as we go to work, go to the store, go to school, go to church, go to the movies...well, you get the point. We "go" a lot. I sometimes wonder how many times in a week I pick up those keys and "go."

As I reflect on my Lenten journey I am also encouraged to stop and wonder how many times I pick up my cross and go. My keys are simple tools to allow me to "go" at a quicker and more efficient pace. Picking up a cross on the other hand...well...there is nothing seemingly quick or efficient about that. To pick up the cross and "go" is burdensome, slow, intentional, and troublesome. So, as I think about the mission of the church - "Go therefore and make disciples" - I am overwhelmed all over again with the impact of that simple word "go."

It isn't just about the mode of which you go (plane, train, automobile) but it is also about the purpose of why you go. It is about the attitude of how you go. "Go, therefore and make disciples..." calls us to live a life that is indeed burdensome, slow, intentional, and sometimes troublesome. It calls us to indeed pick up the cross and not the keys. It calls us to a lifetime of self-denial and seeking others. For some, this seems too much to bear and perhaps that is why Jesus ends it with a promise..."remember, I am with you always..."

As I think of this promise I think of Jesus, stumbling through the streets of Jerusalem. Beaten and abused he is struggling to carry his cross when Simon of Cyrene comes forward to help ease the load. Jesus says, "Take up your cross and follow me" (Matthew 16.24) but to that costly task he says, I will be your Simon of Cyrene - I will be there with you. In Matthew 11:29-30 Jesus says "Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

To "GO" is a frightening thing for many of us. To answer that call seems an overwhelming prospect. Just remember, when God calls us to go - God gives us the way.

GO

And remember

He is with you always

Psalm of Recovery

Last night I slept very little. They say one should ever go to bed angry with their spouse, I have determined we should perhaps not go angry with God either.  I woke still heartbroken, exhausted and very much in need of God's comfort. So I got up and retraced the same steps I took yesterday out to the beach. Yesterday there were dark ominous clouds gathering at a distance, the wind whipping wildly. Today, the sun is warm, the sky is blue and the cool breeze refreshing.

I sat on the steps, overlooking a calm and surprisingly blue ocean (it is almost never blue here, more a murky brown) and I prayed. I explained to God that yesterday I had just needed to rage at him and I wasn't at all interested in what he had to say in his own defense...I didn't want to hear it. So I hadn't taken the time to listen.  Today is a new day and I pled desperately to hear his voice. I sit and watch the easy waves roll up on the beach and soon they are singing to me..."All who are thirsty, all who are weak, come to the fountain wash your heart in the stream of life. Let the pain and the sorrow be washed away in the waves of his mercy as deep cries out to deep..."

In the stillness God sings me a song and as I burst into a new set of tears, God spoke..."Let go of the why," he said, "and carry the cross of what-is while keeping your eyes on the yet to be." It was a startling sentence and yet somehow, as I began to unpack it,  it put me back on firm ground and brought me a new level of peace.

Holding on to the "why" of death will be a frustrating and painful place to remain...there is no answer to why. But, finding the beauty of God and a good purpose (a better way to live and be) in the horror of grief - that is our "what-is" ...and it can only happen with a belief and trust in the "yet to be" - the promise and glory of a resurrection and new life.

The "what-is" of grief is a cross to bear for it is a heavy burden - a journey that is long, slow and painful...But...it is not the journey of ALL there is.  The journey of grief carries us through beautiful places, amongst loving faces and deep into peaceful valleys - even if all we can see is dark shadow and tears. But the other, the beautiful, is there, waiting to be glimpsed and discovered...waiting for us to look beyond the heavy cross we carry and see...glory...victory...resurrection. Waiting for us to glimpse the yet to be of the Easter people.

Why takes us nowhere, but "what is"...as painful as it is...moves us forward.

Tears still fall, hearts are still broken...we are not healed but we are in recovery. For now, we are all kinder to one another. We are all wondering how to carry this beautiful legacy forward out of this gapping hole of absence...and I am confident we will find a way...a way out of "why" - through "what is" and into the "yet to be."  It is the hope God gives us when all seems hopeless...thanks be to God.