Have a "Mary" Christmas

Yes, it is Christmas Eve and perhaps a little late for this particular reflection but as they say - "better late than never." I've spent the last few weeks, no doubt, as you have - shopping, visiting, and generally going about spreading good cheer with a smile and "Merry Christmas" planted firmly on my lips. Tonight I found myself rushing out to a department store on Christmas Eve - one of my "I will never do that" moments...but alas, in the busy-ness of the last few days, I had forgotten a gift that needed to be under my tree in the morning. As my husband and I rushed into the store he was noticing my posture - back bent, hands clenched, feet rushing, frown lines glowing red - and he asked if I was ok. Not really was my reply - I was worried about tonight's Christmas Eve service, was I prepared? I was worried about Christmas morning for my girls - had I forgotten anything else? Would they be disappointed? I was worried about tomorrows service - would anyone come? Would the media computer behave or act up again and if it did, what would I do? I was concerned with our busy time-table of trying to be 3 different places tomorrow. My dear sweet husband looked at me for a moment and said, "Wow, no wonder you are sore - that's an awful lot of weight you're carrying around." Hmmm, I hate it when he does that.

In one simple sentence, he can stop me in my tracks and make me see how silly I am. So, I did what any wife would do in that instance...I ignored him and kept on walking.  I decided to skip going with him and my girls to the Christmas Eve service at his church so that I could come early to my church and make sure everything was prepared and thus found myself alone in my office on Christmas Eve, beginning to feel a little sorry for myself that I "had to work" on such a night when other families were together.  But then I looked across my desk to my little prayer altar and felt the beckoning on my three candles and prayer book. So I closed my computer, put aside my script, lit my candles and curled up on my big pillow.

For 30 minutes, I went to my "spot" - I pray visually, so my "spot" is to imagine myself as Mary - not the "mother of Jesus" Mary but the "Martha and Mary" Mary.  See, I'm a self avowed Martha - work, work, worry, worry - so I force myself in prayer time to take the "better way" and sit at Jesus feet - that is where my "spot" is. Only tonight, our room was a stable, and Jesus was his infant self - and I was kneeled beside him...waiting to find out why I was there.  The word came loud and clear - Simplicity!

In the craziness of the Christmas season do we not have the tendency to complicate things with too many perfect expectations, a constant swarm of programs and parties, a calendar that looks more like a blueprint diagram - well you know what I mean - but is that really what God gave to us at Christmas? He could have done more - it could have been more complicated and showy - there could have been a great production - a mass incident of...well...biblical proportion? Yet, unto us a child was born - simple as that. In a stable, to a young couple. Amidst hay bales and the flicker of a flame the Messiah came into the world.  In my "Mary" mode I sat and imagined it all and I prayed...

My God, Why do I feel the need to be so strong when you were willing to become so weak? Teach me to claim the manger as my own - a simple place of humble weakness, which holds the power of a King.

And in that prayer, I gave my Christmas over to God - I handed God the power to make tonight's service what he will - I handed him the power to be all my children need and desire in life - I handed him tomorrow's worship service - to move freely in the hearts of those who seek him...and I gave Martha the weekend off. I'm going to have a "Mary" Christmas - and kneel at that manger and be awed.

"Mary" Christmas my friends,
May the light of Christ guide you, the love of God keep you, and the fire of the Holy Spirit warm you
Amen

How Big is My God?

My cardinal and I are back in our regular afternoon spot. Me in my blue chair, he on his branch overhead, singing me an evening song. Even in the summer heat we are comfortable together in our semi-solitude as a breeze stirs the air and gathers in the smells of the neighbor's grill.  These are small things, yet they seem blissful and I am thankful for each one...for my blue chair, my cardinal, my breeze, my neighbor, my bug repellent, and my life....small things which honestly would mean nothing to me if I did not find within them, a bigger purpose.

Two weeks ago I was at another blissful spot, Lake Junaluska, getting ready to kick off the first worship service of WNCC of the UMC Annual Conference. I am one of those strange folks who actually love annual conference and usually I can't wait to get there. I can even tell you the exact moment where my joy begins...it is in that first worship service of conference, with the words "Let's stand and sing..." and the music begins and with power, might and majesty 2000+ voices belt out words proclaiming the great God we serve.  A smiles bursts from my lips, the hair on my arms stand on end and I get "Jesus bumps" at the power of that moment.  This is the Church...and she is magnificent to behold.

By the end of conference I am renewed and refreshed because I am ultimately reminded, through our worship, our sharing of stories, and yes, even our business, just how BIG and wonderful our God is. At conference we hear of God's work in transforming lives others count as lost...we hear of God's Spirit empowering small people to do bold and amazing things...we see God's love poured out, God's grace abound...we celebrate God's creation power, God's mighty acts of rescue and salvation...we remember and relive God's call upon our lives, even as we acknowledge we can't fulfill that call without God's indwelling Spirit.

And then, too soon, conference is over. We journey home and unpack our things...we are excited to get back to serving this big and awesome God we fell in love with all over again in the past week.  And then Monday comes...and with it, disappointment. I have struggled for a while to define what is lacking in most local churches today...I have named it "misguided," "lack of commitment," "selfishness," and so on...but I am beginning to see another possibility. What I believe I am witnessing is the latest in consumerism to strike the church.

If you have gone grocery shopping lately you might make note of the fact that they are charging the same amount for food yet they are packaging it in smaller quantities...or the newest thing in "healthy living" is to mini-size everything - that way you feel like you are eating less...and they can charge more.  I have watched our churches lately and now must wonder, have we mini-sized God?  I look at the American church today and I see a group of people of which the majority no longer seem to believe in an all-powerful, all-present God.  I see churches who would rather bicker over brick and mortar than spend time praying and seeking God's direction in saving lost souls. I see churches who are more interested in their own internal power struggles than in welcoming opportunities for God to reveal miracles and transform the broken and diseased. I see churches which would rather tear down and destroy a minister of God's calling, than to encourage and support them to stay true to the God who called them to serve in the first place.

Yesterday I read Psalm 106, a reminder of the wonderful and miraculous liberation of God's children...but as the story of how BIG God is unfolds- after all there is NOTHING God can't do - the author has to add "but they soon forgot his works..."  and "they forgot God, their savior, who had done great things in Egypt..."..."they grumbled"..."they provoked"..."they served idols"..."they became unclean"...  I am struck to the core by these words...Israel forgot how BIG God is...they kept getting caught up in the smallness of this world and failed to look at the largeness of God's Kingdom.

But then comes vs. 44-45..."Nevertheless he regarded their distress when he heard their cry. For their sake he remembered his covenant, and showed compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love."

On the Monday following Annual Conference I came home from work and sat down and cried. After a glorious time celebrating the BIGness of God, I came home and was faced head on with the smallness we have reduced God to in the American church. I wept and felt discouraged that we have forgotten...we are grumbling...we are provoking...we are serving other gods...we are becoming more and more unclean...we have mini-sized our great and mighty God by refusing to acknowledge and open ourselves to the power that is poured out around us.

Nevertheless God regards our distress...God remembers and shows compassion to us according to God's steadfast love.  I am not sure just how to proceed from here in my ministry - I am praying hard for God to make his power known in ways the Church can't miss and won't deny.  It is a frightening prayer...yet a necessary one. I yearn for the Church to remember who she is and, most importantly, whose she is.

As we carry out our committee meetings, bible studies, UMW, UMM, Youth, VBS, choir practices and other routine practices in our churches - let us remember God is not our mini-me....we are supposed to be God's mini-me.  We are the small ones whose power and control is limited and finite...but the God we worship is bigger and more powerful than any of us can imagine or understand. That is the God we worship and the God we serve...how can we not possibly find joyful hope and comfort in that? How can this fact not take precedence in all we do as a church?  It is time to remember!

Read Psalm 106 again...and ask yourself - How big is my God?

Prayer To Be Swept Away

A few years ago my family took a road trip to Canada. Of course no road trip to Canada is complete without a stopover in Niagara Falls. Now, I'm a mountain girl and  I believe I have visited every waterfall in North Carolina, some are impressive...some not so much...but I have enjoyed all of them. None of them have been traumatic for me...until I met Niagara.

My palms are already starting to sweat as I type this. I will never forget my first glimpse of the water - I had been looking at a map or book or something and not paying attention, so when Tim pulled the car into a parking lot and I looked up there, just a few short feet in front of me, was a RAGING river. I had, at that moment, the first panic attack of my life. I felt like I couldn't breath, my palms were sweating, my heart was pounding and all I remember saying is, "How can there be no fence or handrails? What is wrong with these people?" All this before I could even see the falls, we were still upstream!!

I wouldn't allow anyone out of the car and made Tim get back onto the road to take us into Canada immediately - I had to get downstream so I could breath again.  Sure enough I felt better there, until we walked right to the edge of the water. Again, the shear power of the water literally took my breath. There is no withstanding water like this - you fall in and you are totally at its mercy - totally out of control.

Today my Psalm meditation was Psalm 93: "The floods have lifted up, O Lord...more majestic than the thunders of mighty waters, more majestic than the waves of the sea, majestic on high is the name of the Lord."  I was immediately drawn back to the edge of Niagara Falls, realizing that as all powerful and mighty as that water seemed - I worship a God which more powerful and mighty than that.

O to be swept up in the raging power of God's will - to be washed away and totally at his mercy and control. What seems terrifying in the destructive flood of water seems glorious in the life giving springs of God.  Can you imagine being caught up in the holy current of God's purpose, love, goodness and glory? To leave behind the burden of trying to be all and do all ourselves but instead, to let God sweep us into his will and direct our destination and life?

Take me with you Father! The floods have lifted up - lift me too. The floods have lift their voice - hear mine also. The floods lift up their roar - let my roar be a witness to the power and might of God. Wash me away in your love and power, sweep me along the current of your will.  Amen.

Ma and Jesus: Bringing Light into Dark Places

"...the Lord opens the eyes of the blind..."

Psalm 147:8a

My great-grandmother, Della "Ma" Bradley, was a sweet, wonderful woman. When I was in middle school, her husband, "Pa," passed away and Ma was afraid to stay at home by herself. So our family got together and worked out a schedule where each family would take one night a week and stay with her.  Our night was Wednesday, so that afternoon we would pack our stuff up and head two doors down to spend the night with Ma.  Her bedroom had two double beds covered with her hand made quilts...many many hand made quilts, and that is where my sister and I slept.

Yes, I am a good 'ol mountain girl from good 'ol mountain stock.  Ma still cooked on a wood stove, as did both my grandmothers. And when we first started staying there she still had an outhouse - although once the family started staying there it was funny how quickly we suddenly found the time and money to install indoor plumbing.  But, I digress....

Every night when it came time for bed, my sister and I would get tucked into one of my Ma's double beds and she would go through the exact same ritual.  First,  she would walk to the end of the bed to remind us where the "slop pot" was if we needed to "go" in the middle of the night. We always giggled at this and I guess she thought we were laughing about "going" but the truth was, we were laughing at the thought of being able to even get out of bed - there were so many quilts piled on us it took both of us pushing up just to wiggle out!  But, I digress again...Then she would climb into her bed and say, "Now girls, I'm going to turn out the light. Close your eyes and count to 10 and when you open your eyes it won't be dark, you will be able to see!"  And every Wednesday we would eagerly close our eyes and count - always amazed that no matter how dark the night, she was always right - we could see.

I have been thinking about Spiritual blindness lately - particularly the story of Jesus healing the man blind from birth in the 9th chapter of John's gospel. Jesus had stepped into a big mess my healing a blind man on the Sabbath - something that Jewish law would have prevented by the interpretation of the Pharisees. So, needless to say, they are upset that Jesus has broken this law and they begin a trial of sorts to accuse Jesus of this crime. What interests me about this is that no one cares at all that the blind man can see - no one except the blind man that is. The rest just want to argue and fuss and judge and condemn. It is only the blind man who 'sees' that God has shown up in a powerful way. The religious folks, who are supposed to be the God professionals - they don't see it. They are so caught up in their own drama, their own arguing, pride, and self-assurance that they are blind to the fact that scripture is being fulfilled right in front of their face.

It makes me wonder how many things of God I am blind to every day. How many times has God shown up and I was too busy, too prideful, too preoccupied with my own agenda to even notice he was there? Aren't we all guilty?

I have recently taken up meditation in conjunction with prayer and scripture reading, and today I realized that meditation is like my grandmother's nightly routine. When I take time out of my day to close my eyes and turn my mind off worldly things, I realize upon opening them again that I see better.  Not physically but spiritually. Once my eyes are open I have adjusted them to the darkness of this world and can suddenly see in light of God's world. It has made a huge difference in what I 'see' throughout the remainder of the day because now my spiritual eyes are adjusted and God is so much more visible to me.

Thank you Ma and Jesus - you have both opened my eyes to see.

The Power of Love

" I am the Alpha and Omega," says the Lord God, who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty." Revelation 1:8

I cannot seem to stop looking at the videos and still images of the horrific tsunami that has devastated the nation of Japan. I see images like the one above and really just cannot seem to get my mind wrapped around the power and might of nature. Yachts atop houses - cars left on top of a three story building - entire towns wiped of the map! It is just so surreal.

Last night I read Revelation 1:8 and found there a surprising comfort in the words; a comfort I haven't felt in quite a few days as I've watched this natural disaster unfold. As powerful as these waters were - there is one who is yet more powerful! God is the Alpha and Omega - the beginning and the end (and all that is between). God is ever present, steadfast and eternal - the All Mighty!

Wow, that says a lot when we have just witness the mighty power of nature! My heart is broken for these people and the journey that they are just beginning; a journey of rebuilding and going on with life amidst unbearable pain and loss. But I am reminded that our God is bigger than this disaster. God is more powerful than these raging waters.

God will be able to comfort and bring peace to those who mourn - God will be able to bring gratitude to those who have lost everything - God will be able to mend the broken hearts and renew the crushed spirits of these people! And that is a power greater than any destructive force around - it is the power of love, grace and mercy.

Precious God, may your grace and comfort fall in a mighty way upon the people of Japan. As new threats arise I pray for your power to overcome any more harm to those who have survived. May those who have lost every material thing be blessed with spiritual wealth. May those who have lost loved ones feel your peace and love as they grieve. May the leaders lean upon your guidance and submit to your will in handling this crisis. Strengthen the rescue workers and provide for them the comfort and compassion they will need to carry out the difficult task of recovery and rescue. May the shelters be safe havens of peace and health for those who suffer. And Merciful God - may the world take notice of this event and may we all learn from it better how to love our neighbor as ourself.

Amen